I’m Fat

I’m fat.

There. I said it. I’m fat.

Not overweight. Not heavy. Fat. Because I want to desensitize myself to that word.

I want to see “fat” not as a judgment, but as a description of myself.

A few days ago I saw a picture that was taken on Monday, and I was shocked. I said to myself, “I look fat.” And I didn’t like that one bit. Because I judge myself when I think of myself as fat.

Lazy. Ugly. Not worth knowing. Those are the main judgments I have around being fat. If you told yourself you were lazy, ugly and not worth knowing, you wouldn’t want to acknowledge that you were fat, either.

So I’m on a mission to de-judge the statement “I’m fat.” I want it to have the same emotional pull for me that saying “I have brown eyes” or “I have short hair” has. I know this will not be easy, because I’ve spent my whole life judging myself on how I look, as have many other women.

And fat is the number one thing that you should not be if you want to be valued and admired as a woman.

Well, I’m done with worrying about what others think of the fact that I’m fat. I can’t control that. And, it says more about them and their issues than it does about me anyway.

What I can control is what I think about the fact that I’m fat. And, I’m choosing to learn to think of it as a description, not a judgment.

2 responses to “I’m Fat

  1. Don’t be upset. You are right, you shouldn’t care about what others think or say about you. What matters truly is how you feel about yourself. If you feel healthy, than that is all that matters, because as far as looks, I know many beautiful over weight girls and with an amazing heart. If you feel happy with yourself, than that is what you will be and transmit. But if not, than I thinks you should better your weight situation for your own sake.
    God bless you

    • Thank you for your heartfelt thoughts and concerns for my health, Day. My mother is nearly 85 and has been overweight her entire adult life. At 85 she is still concerned about her weight. I don’t want to focus on my weight to the point where I can’t enjoy my life and I always feel bad about myself and not good enough like she does. There are much more important things in life!

      For me it really has nothing to do with health, or even what others think of me (that’s me projecting onto them what I am thinking about myself). I know that as a soul I am much more than this body I occupy, and that’s really how I want to feel. Thanks!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s