Tag Archives: astrology

Letter 2: What I Believe

This post is written in the format of a letter to my son.

I think it’s important to share my beliefs with you, because that is a very quick and easy way to gain a lot of understanding about who I am. We have not talked about these things, except in passing. Partly because as I became more clear on what I believed and my spirituality became a priority in my life, you were becoming a teenager, and I was afraid of being judged by you.

I realize now it was a big mistake not to share the path I was on, what I was learning, who I was becoming. Even though I believe that we each have our own path and our own beliefs, and yours may not look anything like mine, I let go of the chance for the discussion, and for you to see that it’s okay to talk about what you believe even when others may disagree.

My beliefs have been developed and honed over many years of both internal and external exploration. However, I also believe that I have always had a knowingness of their truth, and the journey has been more one of remembering than learning or discovering. Many people speak of this remembering, and it rings true for me, as each of my beliefs is something that resonates deeply within me whether I have had experiences that validate the belief (for me – not external validation), or not.

In this letter, I’ll briefly share what I believe. In a later letter, I may dive deeper into one or more of these topics. This is a varied list, and in no particular order:

  1. I believe that my path may or may not be like anyone else’s. We each have a right to take our own experiences and decide for ourselves what we believe. Even though I may not have the same beliefs as you do, I respect your right to believe as you do – if what you believe (and the actions those beliefs may fuel) does not harm anyone. It is not my right, nor anyone else’s, to impose their beliefs on someone else. Period.
  2. I believe that we are each divine. We each have a soul that is eternal, and that soul is divine.
  3. I believe in reincarnation. We come here (or somewhere else other than Earth) many times. The purpose of these lives is to learn. I believe that prior to each life we choose what it is we want to experience and to learn in that lifetime. Though we always have free will, opportunities will present themselves throughout our lives to facilitate what we have come here to learn.
  4. I believe we are all connected. Each of our divine souls are part of a divine whole. We are separate yet all one at the same time. It’s like each soul is a drop of water in the ocean. When in the ocean, the drop is indistinguishable from the ocean itself. Yet the drop continues to exist, as its own thing.
  5. I believe an internal shift in me affects the whole. Because we are all connected, if something shifts in me, then something shifts for every soul.
  6. I believe in surrender. Surrender is having faith that what shows up in my life is there for my benefit and accepting it rather than fighting it. It’s not about being passive, but rather going with the flow rather than trying to swim upstream. I accept that I don’t know the big picture, but trust that whatever is in my life is ultimately for my learning and growth.
  7. I believe in the power of intention. My thoughts create my reality, and I can direct those thoughts to create a better reality, or I can choose to be a victim by not accepting responsibility for my life.
  8. I believe that peace, both internal and in the world, is a product of surrender.
  9. I believe in taking inspired action.
  10. I believe that everything happens for a reason.
  11. I believe that love is the core of our divine souls. There is no such thing as evil. People take actions that are not loving for several reasons. One may be that it is their role in this life, in order to facilitate the growth of others. Another common reason is that they are in tremendous pain and don’t know that surrender is the only path through that pain, so they lash out.
  12. I believe that as humans, we each have an ego. This is part of the human experience and is not part of our divine soul. The ego is necessary for the human experience, and facilitates our learning and growth as we work to transcend it.
  13. I believe in intuition and psychic abilities. Through accessing my higher self – the divine soul – I can have access to information that is not learned through traditional methods.
  14. I believe it is possible to communicate with souls who are not currently in a body. We all have this ability, but most of us have not developed it.
  15. I believe that dreams contain information and messages, either from my higher self, or from the collective we are each part of.
  16. I believe the material world, including our human bodies, is made of energy. We can shift our experience by shifting energy in our bodies and around us through energy medicine like acupuncture and EFT, or simply through intention.
  17. I believe in astral travel.
  18. I believe that we reincarnate in soul groups, and have had many lifetimes, in different roles, with the primary people in our lives.
  19. I believe in synchronicity.
  20. I believe in the validity of many metaphysical tools such as astrology, numerology and handprint analysis.
  21. I believe that, ultimately, we each are on a journey of enlightenment that takes place over many, many lifetimes. We each have the same goal in the end, to reach the place of unconditional love and peace.

I realize this list is a bit of a hodge-podge, but I hope it gives you a bit of a view into who I am and how I approach being in the world.

Being Authentic Means Feeling Emotions

Wow. That’s all I can say: wow. I just love how the Universe tells me when I’m supposed to be focused in a certain area of my life. I also love how I receive help when I request it.

A couple of days ago I had an astrological reading. It was quite amazing, and also kind of overwhelming. One of the primary things the astrologer told me was that I was very intellectual and brilliant (his word). But in order to move forward on my life path and to fully open up my intuition, I needed to let go of my intellectual baggage and feel my body and my emotions.

I have known for quite some time that I spend most of my time in my head. I’ve had therapists and my intuitive healer encourage me to feel my body and my emotions (we feel our emotions in our bodies, not in our heads). I’ve made some attempts to do this, but not on a regular basis. And frankly, most of the time I’m unaware that I’m suppressing my emotions.

Added to this lack of awareness is a big helping of resistance. I really don’t like to feel my feelings and have become a master at avoiding it. I intellectualize everything, which keeps me in my head. If I start to feel sad, or some other uncomfortable emotion, I’ve learned how to distract myself.

I don’t like to cry. It feels bad both emotionally and physically. There are times when I try hard to embrace crying, because I know it is good for me, and I’ve been doing this more lately. But most of the time I work hard at avoiding it.

(If any of my clients are reading this, do as I say when I encourage you to feel your emotions, not as I do!)

Another thing the astrologer told me, related to this idea of feeling, was that I needed to be able to hold polar opposites as part of my essence (who I am authentically). In other words, my preconceived notions of who I am, and who others are, limit my growth.  I realized the truth in the idea that I am not my mental concept of myself, but that I really am a soul that encompasses all possibilities.

But, I didn’t know how to get in touch with that. When I told the astrologer that I didn’t know how to do this, he said that “knowing how” was a mental process and this was a feeling process. Sigh. I’m brilliant at gathering knowledge and know-how. Not so great (yet) at feeling my way to wisdom. But I’m working on it!

Yesterday as I was taking my daily walk I was also having a conversation with Spirit. I told Spirit that I knew I was ready to make this shift from my head to my heart, and asked to be shown the path. I also asked to be aware when opportunities to practice shifting into my body and feelings presented themselves.

In the afternoon I had an appointment with a therapist. I was meeting with her because I was interested in joining a women’s intimacy group she led. She was the answer, or at least one of the answers, to my request for help from Spirit.

She, of course, wanted to know about why I was interested in joining an intimacy group. The bottom line answer is that because I have a narcissistic mother with whom I was enmeshed as a child, I have a huge fear of intimacy. I fear that I will cease to exist within any relationship that becomes too close. At the same time, I have huge desire for intimacy, as we all do at our cores.

She very skillfully pushed me to feel those feelings of not being nurtured in the way I needed as a child. Every time I started to get back into my head and talk about what happened rather than feel it, she would point that out to me. Within 15 minutes of meeting this woman I was sobbing.

As I’m writing this section, I’m crying again. And I’m glad; it’s a good thing. It’s exactly what I need to be doing right now. Fifty-four years of suppressing my emotions is enough. I know that to move forward on my path, to be more authentic, to be the soul that I really am, I have to feel.

It’s not like I didn’t already know this intellectually, but now I’m really feeling it. And it feels awful and wonderful at the same time. Hey! There’s that polarity the astrologer told me I needed to embrace! Feeling awful and wonderful can both exist within me, and at the same time. Amazing!

As I left the therapist’s office yesterday I felt drained and exhausted, and also committed to finally allowing myself to feel. I was grateful to have met someone who can guide me in this process. I also felt incredibly grateful for the guidance from the Universe. The timing of hearing the astrologer’s message the day before I met with the therapist was perfect.

I’m looking forward to really being myself. To feeling how I really feel, in the moment. To letting others know how I really feel (okay that feels a little scary, but I will get there). To being who I really am, not just my concept of myself.